nerdflash:

lostpropertypod turned 1 today! Proud iammalkovich :) x

One whole year! Soon we’ll be out of nappies!

nerdflash:

lostpropertypod turned 1 today! Proud iammalkovich :) x

One whole year! Soon we’ll be out of nappies!

Honestly, why are people upset over the passing of Joan Rivers. She was an utter cunt who made a career for herself shitting on other people.

Goodbye human trash bag.

Ugh I’m so tired but I just can’t sleep and now I feel sick :(

Brief extract from my book. Scenario is couple go record shopping, the following ensues. I do hope others share my weird sense of humour.

And so with that Elvis Costello joins Sonic Youth, Bjork, Nina Simone, DJ Shadow, The Cure, Father John Misty and A Tribe Called Quest to become part of our record collection. Three words that sound so sweet each and every time I hear them. Before we head to the register a copy of Changes by Bowie ends up on the pile (for obvious sentimental reasons) and it’s joined by a rather unorthodox pick, which for the record I wish to state was all him…I had nothing to do with it.

"What?! What’s wrong with a little Hall and Oates!" he expels with the upmost physical animation. 

I stare intently towards him asking “is that a serious question?”

Apparently it is. 

"Where do you want me to start? I wouldn’t even know where to start?! Besides it being two sides of awful, cheesy pop, you’ve opted for a greatest hits compilation which is just blasphemy!" 

He doesn’t say anything he just looks at me with his widening simper set to stun. 

"What?!" I propel towards him wondering why he’s just basking in silent glee.

 ”Has anyone ever told you that you look beautiful when your being snobby!” 

Playfully I punch him on the arm “I am not a snob!” 

"I do believe my sweet elitist doth protest too much"

 ”Yeah? Go fuck yourself Berringer?!” I say whilst pinning my smile down by playfully biting my lip, trying desperately not to laugh.

 ”Oh I intend to, right after I hang this album sleeve above the bed!” 

"Shut up! That’s not even funny! That’s weird and demented" 

"Oh there’s nothing weird or demented about these guardian angels of love" he starts to stroke the moustache of Hall…or Oates, I don’t know which one is which.

 ”Every time we fornicate we’ll be protected by their watchful eye!”

 ”Did you just say fornicate?”

He nods whilst somehow keeping a straight face.

 ”Yeah…as much as I love you, if you keep up with those ideas and that kind of language, you’ll be fornicating by yourself!”

 ”Oh I’ll never be by myself when I’ve got Daryl and John!” 

"Wow you actually know their full names I don’t know whether to be impressed or concerned" as he continues to caress the cover art and give me puppy dog eyes I hold out an open hand towards him.

 ”Fine! Daryl and John can go on the pile but if anyone asks you bought it by yourself!”